For anyone to believe that the number of friends noted in the box to the left of one's homepage is actually an indication of true friendships is foolish...absurd...insane.
Prior to facebook, communication with family and friends who were currently in your life was done face-to-face or over the phone. Email was an option, as well. There were, and still are, search option on the internet to locate those who we had an interest in finding. The beauty of these types of correspondence is that it's private...strangers aren't following your every thought or judging your every move.
The other positive about phone calls versus facebook is that the telephone doesn't seem to be as much of an addiction as logging onto facebook.
Over the last few days, I've had people irate with me for deleting them as friends. (This was done for my own sake, my own peace of mind, a way to deal with an issue that I'm struggling with resolving...not because these individuals necessarily did anything to me or because I want them out of my life. So, instead of dealing with the backlash, I deactivated my own account for the time being. This is confusing to me. Just because a person isn't listed under the faux-friends category, doesn't mean there isn't a friendship still in tact or that there is no other way to communicate. Think about the insecurity and self doubt being deleted causes in people. To base one's self worth or define one's self on how many friends one has on facebook, isn't healthy. Friendships are determined by trust, honestly, and loyalty, not a picture in a box.
I think so many people - including myself and several facebook "friends" - are so worried about missing something, about not being included, or in some way needing to be at the center of attention in other's people's eyes, that facebook is almost becoming a public health issue. Belonging to facebook isn't helping people resolve issues, it's simply escalating insecurities and neurotic behavior that is already present, in addition to creating more complex, interwoven problems with people we barely know.
More on this later...
Do you think there are any negatives surrounding facebook?
Time Is Flying...
14 years ago
4 comments:
Yes, there are negatives around Facebook. But, way less than the positives, in my humble opinion. For me, the negative is arounded bigoted thoughts which are shared on the newsfeeds. I have way less FB friends than you do/did. So, I haven't really experienced what you have. Most of my FB friends are people who I do things with, offline, on a regular basis. So, Facebook just serves as another outlet for communicating. Back before the net, I hated talking on the telephone. I STILL HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE! So, FB works for me, in that aspect! Bottom line is that you've gotta do what works best for you!
I think my concern is all of the negative posts and some of the nasty motivation behind things that are done on facebook. For example, I had a friend (A) having an online relationship with another friend (B). A third person, we'll call her Raymond, is married, sleeping around with a host of folks, and then started making sexual advances to friend B. At that point, friend A was a mess and asked if I'd intervene. Plus, I was sort of worried for friend B. He was going through enough crap in his own world, that he didn't need this person bringin all of her baggage to the party. So, gently, all I asked of Raymond was for her to be considerate when posting since sometimes other people's feelings might get hurt. Long story short, Raymond needs attention - any kind - and she's self-absorbed. Sort of a lunatic. She used to take the posts that I put up and put them on her wall, send them to her lovers, etc. like they were her own thoughts. Even the blurb she has under her photo, she lifted from me. She was sort of obsessed...always commenting on every status update, involving herself in correspondence, and so on. Her best friend instant messaged me out of the blue...I'm sitting around, sipping coffee, minding my own business... to tell me to watch out for her...that she was a big B. Red flag when the best friend emails. Funny thing, we never really knew each other that well. She kept up her advances and started getting nasty when I caught her in a fib. I told her at that point, I didn't really trust her and that out of spite, I'd be concerned that she would go knocking on CP's wall..the man I was so upset about, who she didn't know, but they had mutual friends. Well, she friended him. And he's such a nit-wit wouldn't be able to figure her out. That's the sort of crap I can't deal with on facebook. It's mean -spirited. And you never know how evil someone truly is. As I told her, I don't have room for those sort of mind games and negative energy in my life. That was the icing on the cake as far as needing to separate myself from some interactions online.
Yikes! That stuff might be going on with my FB friends, for all I know. But, I'm not a part of it, and I like it that way! When people bring drama my way, my mental wall goes up LOL Sorry you've been going through all of that.
Ok...teach me how to do that...not get sucked in to other people's drama!!! I have a tough time saying no when people come to me and it always gets me in trouble.
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